Saturday, June 12, 2010

Part 5 ~ Chapter 34 Part 3

I am beginning to understand that I don't see myself how God sees me. Perhaps this is all about an identity crisis?

Can you relate? Please share.

I do now realize another component to this chapter that is causing me to dig deeper: Psalm 107 and rebellion against God.

Just as Beth points out, verse 12 is startling. God "subjected them to bitter labor... and there was no one to help."

I believe that God wants only the best for us. I have to really pray about how He handles us when we are rebellious.

Perhaps I'm hung up on this chapter because it touches a very deep place in my being. I grew up with the "fear of God," but it was in the way that I feared His wrath. While I knew "Jesus loves the little children," I didn't always focus on that. I focused on "obeying God or else."

Please let me say that I wasn't abused and I don't remember anybody cramming this idea down my throat. I do remember being afraid of God, though. I'm not sure how this way of thinking became a true concept for me.

As an adult (over the past 2 years), I have come to know a very loving God. God is love. While I've known this for a very long time, I don't think it was a true reality... just a concept. Does that make sense?

Maybe I need to spend a lot of time meditating on God's unfailing love and the freedom that comes with it, ie., Chapter 34. That would make sense considering how much I've thought about all I've done wrong and why couldn't possibly love me as much as He says He does.

Now, is this teetering on unbelief?

Whew! I'm exhausted! I'm at that point where there's a lot to process, but I do believe the truth is coming to the surface.

Thank you for listening.

I realize that I need to spend a lot more time with this chapter, but I am going to move on... coming back often to meditate on Chapter 34 until I realize the full scope of what God is trying to teach me here.

I feel like I might find the answers as I move on...

LOL... I just peeked at the next chapters to see if anything popped out at me. After reading the titles to Chapters 35-37, I am feeling like Chapter 36 (Failure to Believe God's Unfailing Love) could help. ; )

God is good!

Stop, Drop, and Pray. Then, let's move on... revisiting when we need to... but moving forward in the quest for knowledge! : )

Part 5 ~ Chapter 34 Part 2

After re-reading the chapter 4 times, I am still trying to discern the message God wants me to take away from this part and/or what I'm specifically supposed to learn.

Do you ever get the feeling that there is something you're missing? If you can relate, then you know how I feel about this chapter.

As a whole, the actual words make sense and there are obvious lessons to be learned. I cannot, however, get past the feeling that there is a nugget of truth or even a pot of gold for me to discover here, and I'm just not getting it.

Please forgive me for being disjointed with these posts on Chapter 34. I'm going to try and pick it all apart.

On page 197, Beth Moore says she used to struggle with the truth of the depths of God's love. She says, "We readily accept God's love for others but struggle with the belief that He loves us equally, radically, completely and unfailingly."

Beth goes on to say that she struggled with this because of her "own sins and weaknesses," and she focused on all the reasons He shouldn't love her.

Maybe this is my problem, too. I have often meditated (not purposely, mind you) on the reasons God shouldn't love me... why I'm "not good enough" to be God's child and how He must look at me because of my sin.

Looking at this now, I see the unhealthy thought patterns that have skewed my mind and emotions.

Maybe I should start with learning how to love myself and forgive myself? If I can look at myself the way God looks at me (based on truths, not what I think b/c of my sins), then perhaps I'll be able to accept the full scope of God's love for me.

Part 5 ~ Chapter 34

Wow, what a message! Did this chapter open your eyes and ears like it did mine? This is one of those that I'm going to have to park on.

While I read the whole chapter and then went back to focus on individual parts, I'm having a hard time completely wrapping my brain around everything that was written.

I'll come back and add to this post (in "parts") as I discern the message God is giving me, but in the meantime... this chapter is deep and I need some more time with it.

Can you help me work through this? Please share your thoughts on this chapter. Perhaps your own comments will open up the understanding for me. How did you answer the study questions?

Is it safe to say that this chapter speaks to the phrase, "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger" (philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche)?

Stop, Drop and Pray. I know I need your prayers today!